4 Simple Steps to Happiness

July 26, 2014

It’s nice to see the amount of people doing positivity posts on FB – looking at the good things in their lives. It seems a good thing to be doing, especially at the moment when so many terrible things have been happening. It is time to count our blessings and search for simple ways to be happy. Here are a few simple steps into happiness, this lovely sunny Saturday as we embrace the summer school holidays.

Music – the impact of music on mood is widely known – from its affect on soothing babies and children to firing up head-bangers. Today I have a few songs that are guaranteed to make you happy:

Happy by Pharrell Williams (Of course!)

Waterloo by Abba

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears (drive to it)

Love is in the Air by John Paul Young (always makes me feel happy)

Beautiful Day by U2

Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins (my personal favourite song ever)

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Smells – also known for their impact on your mood. Try these out:

Freshly mown grass

Smelly dog

Chlorine from the swimming pool

Your young baby’s head

Scented candles

The world after its rained

Fresh brewed coffee – especially early in the morning

 

Do something simple but satisfying

A walk in the park – move that body, every day it makes you feel so much better

Baking for others – the smell of baking is also mood elevating

Cleaning your home so it sparkles and shines and becomes a haven of tranquillity

Completing any task – a puzzle, a task for work

Have a long bath with loads of bubbles and nice smelly stuff

Reading – of course!!

 

Appreciate what you have – so many have lost so much lately, look around you and see what you have, look at it, hold it close to your heart and treasure what you have.

Family who love you

Friends who care about you

Work that pays your bills and sustains your ‘real’ life

A safe home to enjoy

A peaceful place to live

Be aware of what you have, of how precious it is and how easy it is to find and hold happiness and positivity to your life. (Images courtesy Private Collection)

Who Do You Hate Now (that Michael Gove has gone)?

July 19, 2014

Hate is a powerful emotion, as powerful as love, possibly as destructive as love, but without the power to heal and redeem us. So, dear friends, what do you do when someone you hate is no longer there, when the figure of all your negativity, your anger and frustration with your world is gone? To wit, what do we do now Michael Gove is no longer running Education in the UK?

It’s easy to see why Cameron has removed him. In the end Gove was too divisive, too antagonistic, too easy to hate and blame. It was a powerful move, bust him down to Chief Whip, losing more money than many of us earn in a year from his salary, before he got locked in the loo. The Gove haters amongst us could not have hoped for more. If ever there was confirmation that Karma existed here it was.

The man who had spat vitriol and bile at teachers for the last four years, who had marched through his agenda for change with nary a thought for students, or parents, or schools or consequences had got his come-uppance. Indeed the viral world was full of rejoicing. Which was fair enough. And it was made even sweeter when his silly wife revealed how betrayed the Goves really were, how terribly ripped off they felt. Altogether now, ahhh…

Gove:guardian

But now, who do we hate? Gove may be gone but his policies remain alive and afloat, if only for now. We have a clean-skin replacement, a woman and a mother, Nicky Morgan. So a clear attempt to soften the voters, despite her stance on gay marriage and being a corporate lawyer, deep in the bosom of acquisitions and asset stripping (watch this space). But she talked about stopping all the Tory hate-speak. She seems to be the face of reconciliation – not someone teachers or unions or the Labour Party will be able to vent their spleens about. We can expect soft words and perhaps some lessening of the reforming zeal.

Cameron may be a fool and an idiot and an awful lot of other useless things but the removal of such a hate figure as Gove seems to be a very smart move: it takes the wind out of a flotilla of sails. It seems it will beach the opposition, as Tristram Hunt has done little but criticise Gove, not his policies.

We need to hate. Sadly it is one of mankind’s uglier traits, along with anger and jealousy – all emotions that do very little for you, as an individual or nation. Is not the Middle East conflict based on hatred going back years? Is not the current War on Terror between the West and Islam similarly about hate?

Do you remember when the Berlin Wall came down? I was in Alice Springs, it was my first appointment as Head of English, I was pregnant, young and saw the world as full of possibility. The Wall coming down seemed to be an act of hope: the end of the Cold War, the beginning of peace between the West and the Eastern Bloc, the end of the Red Terror.

But how long did we survive without an enemy, without someone to hate? 1990 when the Wall came down to 2001 when the Twin Towers came down (Albeit with the Gulf War in between). Just over ten years – not very long, not long at all. Once again we live in a world driven by hate, by the need to have an enemy.

Is there someone in your life you need to hate? Do you need to have an enemy, are you in a constant state of war? Are you spending your time and energy in negativity, in hating someone that probably doesn’t know or care? Yes, we hate our bosses, our parents, our partners, former lovers, devious friends. But do we need to? Is our hatred of them simply hatred of something in ourselves?

Abbott:news.com.au

Life is too short to hate. Hatred has no up-side. It depletes you, makes you bitter, nasty, twisted. It takes time and effort to hate, time and effort you should be putting to better use. Rejoice that Gove has gone. Be pleased you no longer have to hate someone you didn’t know, who didn’t care, but who has got what he deserved. And you know what, he’d have got his Karmic punch without you (and me) hating him as much as we have. Now go and be positive somewhere else in your life and do not look for another object of hate to waste your life on.

But if you’re lost without Gove, remember there’s always Tony Abbott, equally offensive, arrogant and stupid. (Images: Michael Gove – The Guardian; Tony Abbott – News.com.au)

3 Steps to Happiness

July 12, 2014

How goes the happiness quest? Have you been practising little moments of happiness, noticing the lovely and finding the joy in the world? It is a tricky quest, so let’s remind ourselves of how we can manage it.

 

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Happiness is not the destination, it is the journey and it is within all of us – we just have to believe that and dig deep. I know in an adversarial world this can be hard to accept at times. Yet again it’s been a rugged world out there – nationally we’ve been on strike, the UK government has gone into bile overload; Tony Abbot continues to embarrass and outrage in equal amounts; parts of the world continue to explode and we try and recover from the shock of Rolf Harris. And of course, our own personal struggles and challenges continue, doing their best to drown us and mire us in misery.

There’s a bit of buzz about happiness this weekend in the papers and on Radio 2 yesterday, there were three simple things were meant to make us happy.

1.Finding unexpected money

2. The sunset/sunrise

3. I forget, but think it was having a laugh – we’ll go with that!

 

 

My happiness revolves around my family, writing and reading, eating (I count entertaining here) and sleeping – that’s my three big happiness-makers. But in an interesting twist I read that you should not rely on others, on external things to make you happy, you must find it in yourself. If you rely on others for happiness what happens when they let you down, or leave you?

 

 

True happiness needs to be built on your own ability to make happiness, to accept that you have control over your emotions; that you control how you feel. So, think about the following and pick three that work for you

*If you believe you deserve to be happy you will be

*If you look for happiness you will find it – not everyone finds their family a bundle of joy, if you do you are blessed and will be happy

*If you take notice of the small moments they will build into larger moments, more sustainable moments – so when you wake on Saturday morning and the sun is shining and it’s a work free day and you feel a surge of happy make sure you do something that keeps that feeling bubbling along

*If you keep away from toxic environments and people it will help you – these things can eat you alive, draining any hope of happiness

*If you find something to do that makes you happy then try to do it as often as possible – the gym or exercise can be like this, writing is for me, buy flowers once a week: the list is endless

*If you have special places that make you happy, you should go there too – a walk in the woods, a stroll by the sea – the beach and the water always do it for me!

 

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You can learn to be happy. You aren’t here to be miserable and sad, it is a waste of a life. As a happy person you will be a better person, more productive, more alive and more able to make the world a better place – and it needs to be!! Do your bit in your little part of the world to make it better – BE Happy.

 

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What are your three steps to happiness, what are you doing this weekend to make yourself happy, to make the world a better place? (Images courtesy Private Collection)

Rolf Harris: When Celebrities Fail

July 5, 2014

Australia’s PM, Tony Abbot ‘is gutted’. The rest of us are shocked and appalled, but mostly we’re disappointed. How can this happen, how can someone we think we know, whom we’ve known all our lives turn out to be a criminal? How did Rolf Harris fool so many of us for so long?

Yes, he’s not the only one. But sometimes the fall of particular celebrities hits home harder. Jimmy Savile doesn’t mean much to me or most Australians, nor does the jailing of Andy Coulson for the phone hacking. Oscar Pistorius means little to me – I think he’s guilty as sin and hiding behind his celebrity status. But Rolf Harris, one of our iconic Ozzie blokes, a battler done good? Well, yes, that hits home. There is a sense of being personally let down as well as being disgusted by his behaviour, by his abuse of power and the deliberate use of his celebrity status.

Rolf bbc

What is it about celebrities when they fall from grace that is so compelling to us? Why do we follow certain stories with a passion?

Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong were kings of their respective worlds. Both excellent sportsmen but more than that, they were such good guys. Lance and his cancer, and his foundation to help others. Tiger and his pristine, guy next door, all round good bloke image. Both were rich trading on their sporting prowess and their carefully crafted public image. We admired them, we looked up to them and we believed the image. We did not know the substance. So, when the substance emerged – well, exploded in Tiger’s case – the world was aghast. Just as with Rolf, we were shocked – it can’t be true. Not Tiger. Lance’s fall from grace took a lot longer, had a much uglier side to it. But when the scale of his cheating finally emerged it was breath-taking – the lengths he had gone to to shut people down, to kill the truth of his life.

Both men had large secrets that they went to elaborate lengths to hide from the public and many around them. They seemed to believe they were above it all, that they were both different and the same. Tiger Woods famously wanted to be left alone like a normal man cheating on his wife. But he wasn’t an ordinary man cheating on his wife. Lance Armstrong didn’t really think he was cheating because everyone else was. It took both celebrities some time to accept that they were in the wrong: that they were cheats and liars.

Tiger wiki

Rolf Harris, and many others, traded on his celebrity, lived in a milieu that seems to allow behaviour that is not appropriate. Perhaps it was the times, perhaps it was the company he kept, perhaps he is just a misguided old man who shouldn’t be going to jail…

But the problem with some celebrities is that they hide behind their status, use their status and the power from that status to behave badly. Does something happen to their moral compass when they become famous, or was there something faulty in them in the first place that pushed them to become famous and enabled their faults to have full reign?

We should be in no doubt that while celebrities seem to be like us, they are in fact nothing like us. Their trick is that they seem to be, which encourages us to connect to them, to buy their products, see their movies, follow their lives, which increases their power, status and wealth. But they live in different circles, they do not work as we do, struggle as we do. Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t get divorced, she ‘consciously uncouples’.

Fame and wealth make you different to your fans, your followers. It has to, otherwise why would it be so attractive? Being famous is one of those things we can all aspire to. It’s not accident that many of the big names in the world of sport and entertainment came from humble origins and have such big fan-bases – Tom Cruise, David Beckham, Johnny Farnham and Rolf Harris.

Whether they like it or not, their rags to riches stories resonate for us. It means we can too, if we work hard and have enough talent. It’s also why we admire them: we understand their struggle and we appreciate how hard it was for them to climb their stairways to heaven. Thus when they fall we are crushed. Somehow their journey has been our journey. Their successes ours and therefore their failures ours. We know them, that’s the point of being a fan, a follower – we have a special relationship – albeit incredibly one-sided, but as important for some people as their every day relationships.

So, when they let us down, as David Beckham did a few years ago with his affair and Tom Cruise embarrassed us on the couch with Oprah, and now Rolf Harris, we feel personally affronted. We didn’t know them at all.

No, we don’t know them, we know a version of them, the one they want the world to see. What hides beneath none of us really know. We see the product, the manufactured entity; the version sent out into the world, not the one that lives at home. Rolf Harris’ wife and daughter tell a sad tale of a man they hardly saw, didn’t really know, who saved the cheerful daftness for others, not them. He was away from home at key times, didn’t recognise his wife and new baby, was somewhat self absorbed. His letter of contrition to the family of the friend of his daughter is pathetically about himself, not his sorrow for the damage to her or her family.

So, this weekend another celebrity has fallen. Rolf Harris sits in jail, notionally for 5 years and 9 months. His family sit somewhere, broken and shamed. His victims have some justice. He is 84, my father’s age. Should he be in jail for crimes from over twenty years ago? Yes, justice has to happen and be seen to happen – war criminals from WW2 were pursued and jailed in their 80’s many years after their heinous crimes.

Will Rolf Harris be rehabilitated in the public eye, will we forgive him after he’s done his time? Will we do what we normally do with celebrities and forgive them once they’ve been publically humiliated and punished and sought our forgiveness? I have my doubts. Perhaps finally we are sick of celebrities and their extreme behaviour, their lack of contrition, lack of shame for what they have done, only sorry because they have been found out. Perhaps we are tired of their duplicity, being something they very much aren’t.

brad-guardian

So, look to your favourite celebrity. Are you sure they’re all they seem to be? Are Brad and Ange as solid as we think? Are they as nice as we think – like us only infinitely more beautiful and rich, or is there some dark secret waiting to find air, to be exposed… (Images: Rolf Harris, BBC; Tiger Woods, Wikipedia; Brad & Ange, Guardian)

*For a more in depth consideration of the Rolf Harris story read this article by Peter Conrad from The Monthly – ttps://www.themonthly.com.au/issue/2014/july/1404178677/peter-conrad/inside-strange-world-rolf-harris

It’s Time to Consume Less –Eschew the Clutter

June 28, 2014

Stop! Before you click buy, consider how much you really need the item you are about to purchase from the comfort of your home, from the ease of your computer. Do you really need another pair of shoes, a new coat, the latest iPhone and all its accessories, more knick knacks? The truth is you probably don’t need to buy anything non-essential ever again.

Look around your home. Is it full of things – of possessions that you simply have to have to feel good about your life, to feel as if you live in a lovely home, have taste or just enough money to buy whatever you want, whenever you want it?

If you’re like me, then your house is full of lovely little things that you just had to have, that made you feel better simply by buying it. But, the truth is for most of us we have homes full of stuff that we don’t use and don’t need. In fact some of it we never use. It just takes up space and clutters our life.

We live in a consumer society – it’s called an economy and an economy is all about money, about buying and selling, money and goods changing hands forever, so producers and manufacturers keep in business and people keep their jobs and we keep spending our money and keeping the world turning.

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Spending money feels good. It’s lovely to walk into a shop and leave again with your brown bags replete with some special item you simply had to have. It’s lovely to get your little packages from Amazon, etc in the post. It’s wonderful to wander a market and find amazing bargains.

We’re also bombarded with advertising at every turn. It is worse than it was. Buses, tube stations, trains, newspapers, magazines, not to mention the invasive web advertising that is now wonderfully linked into your latest search so that when you’re reading your stars or the latest news, there, in the corner is the ad from John Lewis, or Jaguar or ASOS, reminding you that you want to buy, you really-really do.

But, do we need half of what we buy these days? Do we thoughtfully replace our old coat with the new one, throw out the shoes that are worn, or do we simply keep things forever, because – you never know when it might come in handy… Here’s the big hint from this blog- IT WON’T.

Several things remind me of the need to de-clutter our lives. One is moving again (a separate blog to come about the joys of moving) and the other was cleaning out my father’s things after he died last year.

My dad loved to shop. He had a house full of things and some very recently bought: some new books and a very nice selection of clothes. Which is fine, you are saying. But when we cleaned out his life – never an easy thing to do – we sent a small truck’s worth of clothes to the charity shops. Nice clothes, but so many and from when he was a much younger man! We did the same with books – sort the historical worthwhile and the pulp quick reads – why wasn’t he a library member? The kitchen was the same –there were still items from when I was a child – a kettle and toaster from the 1960s alongside a cavalcade of kitchenalia bought over the years. Why not sort and clear? Why did he need a house full of things, of clutter? Why do any of us?

 

Jeremy Clarkson wrote recently of the loss of his mother. You know Jeremy, loud mouthed brash, trouble prone, man-boy from Top Gear. He wrote a touching article about the loss of his mother in the Sunday Times – she was the creator of the Paddington Bear toy. His fear, after his sadness was having to go into her home and sort through her life, making those terrible decisions about sorting and keeping; about having to be sensible not sentimental. And you know what? He didn’t have to. His mother, who had known she was dying, had sorted through her own life and de-cluttered it before it was too late.

So, this weekend, have a look around your home. Do you really need and use all that you have? Are you hanging onto things for no sensible reason? Sentiment has a place, comfort and indulgence has a place but perhaps you should be concentrating more on the other things in your life that matter and not the stuff that clogs and clutters your home?

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Remember, charity shops are there for a purpose, so is the tip! (Images courtesy Private Collection)

Karma and the Wheel of Fortune

June 14, 2014

Allegedly a former senior colleague of mine (and others) endured an incident of humiliation and distress at the hand of an innocent recently, as reported, and then confirmed, on one of the more reliable social networks.

I must confess dear friends that this small defiant action by one person against another, and sadly I do not know the full details, thrilled me to the core. I did feel a tad guilty about my pleasure at their displeasure and distress. But then I remembered only too well what the ‘victim’ had visited on me and many others.

Indeed I feel as if Karma, taking her sweet bloody time, had finally smiled on me and I found myself unusually cheered in the wake of the news.

As we know it is unutterably hard to cope when the Wheel of Fortune is stalled at the bottom in the mud of despair and powerlessness, sometimes at the hands of another, sometimes because of our own foolishness and stupidity. But, if you know your Shakespeare and your Tarot, wheels are always going around and he who rises also falls, just as he who falls also rises.

King Lear was “bound upon a wheel of fire”, having been the king who gave it all away, he went mad and lost his beloved youngest daughter. He didn’t quite manage to get everything back but he had grown from his suffering and it could be argued he died in peace; certainly order was restored to his ravaged kingdom.

Macbeth began as a hero, lauded across the land. Like Lear he began his play at the top of his Wheel of Fortune, but oh did he fall. His act of regicide was only avenged by Macduff , at the end of the play, who completed the karmic circle for Duncan’s sons. Thus the kingdom was restored and all was right in the world again.

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This is the heart of Karma, that what goes around comes around – believing that injustice, that your unwarranted suffering at the hands of another will be dealt with, will be avenged. The problem with Karma is that she takes her time and appears in deceptive disguises. It is unlikely that you will be the instrument of your own Karma, especially in our context, that of revenge. And this is what makes keeping the Karmic faith difficult – you have to be patient and you have to trust it will happen.

You are always the instrument of your own Karma when you act for good. While you wait for the evil-doers in your life to get theirs, go about your own business doing good, being good. It will distract you from your suffering and make you a better and stronger person in the meantime. And if you spread good about it will come back to you.

Remember, just like the river, you cannot push Karma against her will, and know that the Wheel of Fortune is ever turning, always falling and rising. Smile, go about your business, be patient. If you believe in justice there will be justice. (Pictures courtesy Private Collection)

Reading Lists for students… dare you write your own?

June 7, 2014

Aftre Michael Gove announced the ‘banning’ of several iconic books for GCSE students a predictable and not entirely unwarranted torrent of abuse ensued and then alternative lists popped up – including the Guardian’s selection from notables. Oh, dear, what lists – full of self indulgence (Russell Brand) and complete ignorance of the teenage beast (nearly everyone else except for Hilary Mantel).

It is worth considering – what books should be experienced during the high school years, what should you read and know about as you grow and become who you are? After all those of us who dwell in the world of books know how we learn about ourselves and others from reading, as well as all the osmosis language skills we acquire simply from reading.

Should we agree with Michael Gove and eschew books from other countries, other cultures and be utterly xenophobic in our canon for the kiddies? What sort of citizens would we be brewing if we follow such a path? Others are asking this question and it is an important one to consider, given there is more truth in fiction than in history, given there is mandated focus on socio-historic-cultural baggage of the texts studied in school.

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In my time in Australian schools we taught a broad range of texts from writers across the world, although perhaps we could have done better. But, there were a slew of excellent YA American novels by the likes of SE Hinton, Paul Zindel, Robert Cormier – so many kiddies loved The Chocolate War and I am the Cheese. I taught To Kill a Mockingbird alongside The Lord of the Flies. We had Animal Farm and Colin Thiele’s Storm Boy. But some of these dated – notably Colin Thiele and Lord of the Flies, or perhaps it became too English as we became more Australian and hade more home grown stuff to choose from, including Nick Earls, John Marsden, Isobel Carmody, Sonya Hartnet and Nadia Wheatley.

We were not starved for choice and indeed many of my happier moments were raging arguments in my departments about which books needed to go and which ones we now wanted in our book-rooms. Yes, schools where I chose what we would teach and then my teams chose from the range. Good times.

 

So, what might an All-Australian list look like?

Classics

For the term

For the Term of His Natural Life, Marcus Clarke

Capricornia, Xavier Herbert

We of the Never Never, Jeannie Gunn

The Eye of the Storm, Patrick White – there must be one White at least, as he is our only home-grown Nobel winner, no matter how inaccessible you think he is!!

A Fortunate Life, AB Facey

My Brilliant Career, Miles Franklin

Picnic at Hanging Rock, Joan Lindsay

Walkabout, James Vance Marshall

The Harp in the South, Ruth Park

A Town Like Alice, Neville Shute

The Man Who Loved Children, Christina Stead

Ride on Stranger, Kylie Tennant

Poetry of AB Paterson

Short stories from Henry Lawson

 

Modern Classics

Monkey grip

Oscar and Lucinda, Peter Carey

Gould’s Book Of Fish, Richard Flanangan

Monkey Grip, Helen Garner

Lilian’s Story, Kate Grenville

Maestro, Peter Goldsworthy

Fly Away Peter, David Malouf

Unreliable Memoirs, Clive James – entertaining memoir

My Place, Sally Morgan – important memoir

Fly Away Peter, David Malouf

Cloudstreet, Tim Winton

Carpentaria, Alexis Wright

Poetry by – Les A Murray, Gwen Harwood, Oodgeroo Noonuccal, Bruce Dawe, Judith Wright, AD Hope, John Kinsella, John Tranter, Dorothy Porter

 

Drama

radiance

The One Day of the Year, Alan Seymour

The Club or The Removalists by David Williamson

Radiance, by Louis Nowra

 

YA

looking f Al

The Obernewtyn serties, Isobel Carmody

48 Shades of Brown, Nick Earls

Looking for Alibrandi, Melinda Marchetta

Tomorrow when the war began, John Marsden

Lockie Leonard – Human Torpedo, Tim Winton

Sabriel, Garth Nix

The Book Thief, Markus Zusak

 

Classic Films (because films should be included too…)

rabbit proof

Rabbit Proof Fence (based on true story)

Gallipoli (based on letters from the front)

Mad Max (just because…)

 

What would this highly personal selection tell us about being Australian? That women are valued in our canon, that there are Aboriginal voices (although there is an argument there should be more). There are few immigrant voices, but I have been away from home for a while and not as up to speed with recent developments… What would these stories tell us about ourselves? Do we not need texts from other countries, other voices in our heads to tell us about the world and how to live?

When I taught English Lit in the NT the texts were King Lear, The Great Gatsby and Tender is the Night and 1000 lines of poetry, which was taken from an Australian anthology. So there was representation from three countries, different times and places, classics and moderns. Perhaps there should have been more classic Oz-Lit at that level, perhaps there is now. When I taught English Communications in Tasmania we embraced other cultures much better and taught The God of Small Things and Jhumpa Lhahiri’s collection of short stories alongside Radiance and some non-fiction texts.

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From my list – extensive but not exhaustive you can plainly see we have as Australians a rich and long standing literary heritage from which to create a bespoke English curriculum but I am not sure this is wise. I think it would shame us in many cases, it would reinforce some of our less admirable characteristics and much and all as people might breath a sigh of relief at the absence of Shakespeare or the Romantic Poets, or Dickens, what would an English education be without a smattering of good writing, of the classics from across the world?

It is always wrong to ban books, or attempt to modify people’s reading, be they teenagers or adults. Reading books, reading fiction is one of those activities that is dying fast amongst the young. What is beholden on the powers that be is to promote texts that engage and excite and mix in the classics, from across the world. A country like the UK should be outward looking, to learn from reading, to be anything but xenophobic and nationalistic in your curriculum.

Remember there is more truth in fiction than in any other book, perhaps that’s why people want to burn them and ban them and why writers are often considered with suspicion…

What do you remember from your school days? What would you want students to be reading in High School? (Images courtesy Google Images)

Say Something Nice

May 31, 2014

In a world of bad news, nasty people, banned books, idiot politicians (still – always and forever) and generalised doom and gloom there is a way to inject a bit of sunshine into the world and it is terribly, deceptively simple.

nice flowers

Being nice is one of those under-rated things. Nice is such a bland, nonentity of a word that we forget its power. Being nice is simple, not tricky or hard and it should be one of those words we resurrect and give more power and meaning to. As the husband of a dear departed old friend noted many years ago: “It’s nice to be important but more important to be nice.”

I was struck by this this week during my journey into the bowels of the NHS, for a touch of day surgery. A bit worried, a bit nervy, as you can be one such days, it took one small comment, a moment of niceness and I felt just fine about the whole endeavour. With my pink hair and left-handedness the nurse commented that “you must be creative” and smiled. It was a tiny simple comment but it was nice and it made me feel so much better.

Taking that to heart, I was reminded of how often I do and (too often) don’t say something nice. How all too often it’s easy to say the unpleasant thing, to make the unkind comment, to not bother with being appreciative or nice. Have a think about it. Do you thank the bus-driver, the barista at Costa, the receptionist at the vet’s? Do you tell someone they’re looking nice, pretty, have nice shoes? Do you notice the little things and make a feel-good comment like my nurse did? How often do you say nice things to those you love and should appreciate the most?

Here are some simple things you can try out-

*Smile at people

*Say thank you and mean it

*Appreciate small things, like a nice cup of coffee made by someone else

*Say hello to people

*Let people know you appreciate their efforts, the extra mile they’ve gone

*Say something thoughtful when you come home from work, don’t whine as soon as you get in the door

*Equally greet your partner happily at the end of the day – show you’re pleased to see them

*Notice things about people, pay them compliments, but don’t go too far – be genuine and simple – you look good in that and the all time classic – you’ve lost weight

*Ask for things politely – manners are the epitome of being nice, and take you a long way

*Tell people you like them, tell those you love that you love them – you can’t say it too often

*Don’t forget to apologise when you aren’t nice, either. It helps restore the balance of niceness. A simple I’m sorry goes a long way.

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There are four serious benefits to saying something nice.

1.You will make someone else feel good.

2.You will feel good because you’ve made them feel good.

3.You make the world a better place.

4.People will say nice things to you too!

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Go on, resurrect NICE, make it a word that matters. Make the world a better place in a small way every day. You may not be able to stop books being banned, drive-by shootings, kidnappings and hijackings but you can make a difference by simply saying something nice. Do your bit for good Karma. (Images courtesy Private Collection)

A year in the life…

May 24, 2014

This time last year, May 24 2013, it was raining too, grey miserable skies, cold and altogether uninspiring. It’s memorable because it was the day I walked away from one of the most difficult experiences of my life. It was an ending, and as it transpired it was a weekend of significant endings. I walked away, with a bit of a push, from a job I had done for nearly thirty years, and at this place for over five. It was an odd feeling last May 24 to walk away in the rain: it felt oddly appropriate that it should be raining on such a day. I thought it was the last day of my teaching career. Ah, me, pathetic fallacy is everywhere.

By the end of the weekend I had lost my job and my father. It was one of those ‘stranger than truth’ moments, compounded by the fact that my father died on my mother’s birthday. So this weekend, especially with the rain appearing once again, gives me moment to pause.

Life, as often happens, has shifted both dramatically and not at all. I remain my usual annoying, determined, mostly optimistic self. But it’s been a hard year. Being pushed from your job (through no real fault of your own, other than your face absolutely not fitting) and losing your last parent, seems a bit of an Oscar Wilde moment, to lose one is unfortunate, to lose both in a weekend might be seen as careless.

Being a certain age it has not been easy to find work again. But really, as I now settle into a long-term position once more, I realise how much my confidence had been damaged by my previous work-place. How difficult it was to feel as if I could still do my job, that some institution would find me valuable again. I know I am not alone in this. My sense of self worth had been eroded over time, to such an extent that you lose sight of what is real and what is made up. You lose control over your life, your sanity sits on a precipice and you are impossible to live with.

You shouldn’t even apply for work in this state as your own feelings of unworthiness seep through and you have no hope of finding work. Then you end up in a spiralling recursive falling to the bottom, the more you apply, the more you are rejected, the worse you feel, the more your confidence is eroded and you come to believe that those who initially pushed you out – who rejected you – were right after all. You are rubbish: you should be condemned.

In such instances you should retire from the world, if only for a while. This is when you must be kind to yourself. You cannot dwell in darkness, where resentment roils through your being and you make yourself sick with the unfairness of the world, of your own powerlessness.

We know the world isn’t fair, we know it everyday when we read the news, or go about our business. The rich in the UK are now twice as rich as they were five years ago, yet the poor are poorer. How can this be allowed? The recent Australian budget attacked the powerless in society, hiked up charges for ordinary people, but took little from the rich. All in a budget of austerity that the country doesn’t need, that won’t make a significant difference, all to erode the living standards of those at the bottom. How fair is that in the ‘Lucky Country’?

The worst unfairness is the sudden loss of family or friends. There is no chance to say goodbye, to make amends, to speak of love and affection. To say I was surprised by my father’s death is not quite true. He was in his 80’s, he’d had a heart condition for 40 years, he’d become frail. But for him to die in a car accident, not in his bed, was a shock. For him not to be there, on the other side of the world, pottering about in his riverfront house, drinking red wine, reading and machinating about his share portfolio took some time to accept.

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But a year takes us many places, and a year in the wake of significant changes does shake you up. I do not look at the world with a stinging sense of failure, of strange relief to be away from truly odious and terrible people. I no longer plan their downfall, or even think of them much. I am no longer filled with rage and resentment, at those who wronged me, or even my father who had a knack for upsetting those nearest and supposedly dearest to him.

This morning I feel quite differently to this time last year. I have a sense of calm and looking forward to the future again. I give little time and no emotion to those I walked away from last year. I think of my father with fondness and remember the good bits, the sailing as kids, the wombat house, his happiness on my wedding day, his happiness with my step-mother, the wonderful Easters at Police Point – which now, most happily belongs to the kids and us. He died quickly and did not wither in a nursing home, which he would have hated. So perhaps he went as he wanted.

And perhaps, even though I did not leave work as I wanted, I am now where I need to be. I am free from that insanity, have a pleasant place to work, have my amazing family and excellent friends, and I think I’ve nearly got my mojo back. (Images courtesy Private Collection)

 

“Lesson” Plan for Surgeons – imagine if…

May 17, 2014

Imagine if every professional had to write plans, or context sheets for what they were going to do at work each day…. But perhaps other professions like doctors and bankers should be under the same, even more scrutiny, than teachers? After all I don’t think teachers kill people or send their countries into recession. Just a thought…

Dr's hands

Operation Objectives: Patient 1of 7- Female, 40 years.
To remove the brain tumour as one in timely fashionPatient to survive both the operation and for an extended time

To meet NHS targets for time and patient care

Operation Outcomes
Cancerous tumour is removed

There is little or no damage to brain from operation

Patient doesn’t die during operation

AFL: Assessment for Life (Signs) Opportunities
  1. Check patient is alive as we start, share a brief pleasantry with them as they succumb to the anaesthetic
  2. Check that team are alert and awake – shout a bit, threaten a few, make a joke or two, depending on who I am addressing and the time of the operation
  3. Check monitoring equipment for life signs – on-going
  4. Double check we have the right patient for the right operation
  5. Poke the patient to see if they’re still with us – from time to time
  6. Shout at someone again to make sure everyone is on their toes and no-one gets to die today
  7. Visit patient post-op to check they really did make it through in one piece
Differentiation
*Play different music at different stages of the operation to make me concentrate and/or feel good –sailing and water themes today, then heavy metal to conclude

*Rude and snappy to some of the team – especially the Surgeons-First lot (see below)

*Cheery and jokey with my trusted off-siders

Resources
State of the Art operating theatreLots of machines that go bip and flash from time to timeShiny sharp metal instruments

First class team

Decent sound system with music pre-programmed for the event

Health & Safety Issues
Two Surgeons-First people – “doctors” from Russell Group universities who have first class degrees (in History of Art and Mandarin) who are being fast tracked to be surgeons – need to keep them as far away from me as possible so they don’t distract or upset me such that I stab them with a scalpel instead of modeling outstanding practice (and/or let the patient die!)
Getting Down to It: The Operation ProperStarter: Get the Operation off to a Zippy start
*Check everything is ready, equipment, assistants, patient is prepped, scrub up

*Prepare a couple of jokes to set everyone at ease and be in positive frame of mind

*Ensure this is the right patient (always best to be safe than sorry- measure twice, cut once)

The Actual Operation (aim for 3 different activities)
Part 1 – Make incision at the specific area on the skull in order to locate and remove tumor, ensure I am in right spot – set music to soothing calm, beach like stuff today – Chris Rea, Australian Crawl

Part 2 – Double check all scans and information, ensure I have the right tools, proceed to remove tumor, taking all care to remove only the tumor and not cut, nick or damage anything else – a bit of Enya to help me concentrate – Orinoco Flow on repeat. Prepare to remove Tumor.

Part 3- Tumor removed, send off to pathology, brow mopped, sip of water – change music, some AC-DC – Highway to Hell and It’s a Long Way to the Top. Close and leave everything neat and tidy.

Plenary – consider the operation against the Operation Outcome
1. Ask the team how well they thought the morning’s work wentWWW – what went well in terms of the whole operation and in terms of your own role and othersEBI – how would what we have done today have been Even Better If … we had done what… (ie, what did we cock up?)

 

2. Evaluations and Reflection

Do you agree with others’ feedback

How will this help you/me

What have we learnt from today’s operation

Do you think this was useful task for us to complete today

*Make sure you all include this in your e-port-folio for evaluation and pay progression

Post Operative ActionsHomework
Remember to visit the patient in the ward, check their progress, make sure they’re happy with my work and not thinking about suing me or the hospital…
Surgeon’s Reflection on his work
All good.Tumor removedPatient alive

Didn’t lose temper with Surgeons-First twats

Should consider different play-list – but no time before the next op

doctor?

So, which is sillier, plans for surgeons for each of the operations on their lists for the day or for teachers to produce bits of paper like this to satisfy management, so we can prove we know what we are doing, instead of just doing it? (Images from Private Collection)


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