Dreams

I wake with the tail of the dream in my hand. If I open my eyes too quickly the dream evaporates, gossamer threads lost to the morning light.

So I lie for a moment, still, my hand tight around the thread, gently pulling it in – letting the image grow stronger, let the feeling develop, see the face, the place before I fully awake and then if I’m lucky the dream will come to me unbidden as the day unfolds and by the end of the day I will know and understand my dream.

There will be

Places from the past, but not as they really were – now they are some re-imagined dream-scape that I do recognise

Houses that I know and don’t – often with rooms locked away from the rest of the house, rooms that hold treasures and pleasures known only to me

Lovers from my youth – who visit me often, always as they were – handsome, aloof and somewhat out of reach. Some days I wake with the feeling and taste of them strong in me. It is an oddly pleasing thing to have them still in my life this way – dreams of them make me smile and remember them fondly

My family – but not usually all together. This is where the terror in my dreams lives – when frightening things happen to them. I wake in fear and must check immediately they are fine – these dreams I let go as quickly as I can

The dreams of work – the symbolic nakedness, the child refusing to do as asked, the undermining colleague – the friend I have adventures with

And sometimes, so very rarely, there will be a dream of my mother and I am always left wondering what if…

I revisit places and people and wonder why I’m here, what does being with this person mean? Why does water make me feel so good?

I hold the tail of my good dreams until they are strong enough to ride through the day, like a tiger – exotic and precious, dangerous and wonderful, making me strong and brave. (Images courtesy Google Images)

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