The Joy of Aloneness

Once upon a time I lived a solitary life, upon a hill in an orange house overlooking a pretty city with a wide blue river. Mostly I liked it. I could do as I pleased (white cats’ fur everywhere annoying the be-jesus out of my weekly visiting father) and if loneliness became too much I zoomed down the hill in my car to find friends and things to do.

That was many years ago and there have been many adventures since those fine days. Now I live a life full of people and things and doing and dogs. I have done so for nigh on 27 years and mostly it’s just fine too. Tis much harder in this version of life to find quiet and space but in the absence of grown children, long since left the nest, and the recent departure to France of beloved, baby girl and woof in the wake of GCSE’s I am alone.

I am quite happy and fine in my aloneness – it is a state that I find pleasurable and am doing my best to make the most of. In fact, aloneness in this case is only partial as the joys of work endure and the eldest girl-child has returned to ease her battered heart. Still, mostly I am alone.


Let me count the ways that aloneness can bring joy

You can

Clean the house in your PJs or knickers

Lick the bowl without glares and glowers of disapproval

Stay in bed all day

Eat smelly food in bed

Eat the same meal every day

Have champagne for breakfast every weekend

Have a bath at 2pm, at any time, for as long as you like

Play your music loud

Play the same track ad–nauseam – hello Echo Beach

Buy what you want at Tescos

Spend the whole day on the iMac without being disturbed

Write your heart out

Study in peace

Not wash up

Not get dressed all day

Not go out of the house all day

Not have to speak to anyone

Watch every episode of Doc Martin one after the other


Aloneness is not frightening: it is not being lonely. It is a place of peace and selfishness for a while. It allows you some space to breath, to be, to consider the joys and wonder of companionship. Aloneness gives you space to miss the things that matter in your life and appreciate them when you are rejoined to your normal life.

Enjoy your inner Polar Bear. (Images courtesy Google Images)


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