Once upon a time I lived a solitary life, upon a hill in an orange house overlooking a pretty city with a wide blue river. Mostly I liked it. I could do as I pleased (white cats’ fur everywhere annoying the be-jesus out of my weekly visiting father) and if loneliness became too much I zoomed down the hill in my car to find friends and things to do.
That was many years ago and there have been many adventures since those fine days. Now I live a life full of people and things and doing and dogs. I have done so for nigh on 27 years and mostly it’s just fine too. Tis much harder in this version of life to find quiet and space but in the absence of grown children, long since left the nest, and the recent departure to France of beloved, baby girl and woof in the wake of GCSE’s I am alone.
I am quite happy and fine in my aloneness – it is a state that I find pleasurable and am doing my best to make the most of. In fact, aloneness in this case is only partial as the joys of work endure and the eldest girl-child has returned to ease her battered heart. Still, mostly I am alone.
Let me count the ways that aloneness can bring joy
You can –
Clean the house in your PJs or knickers
Lick the bowl without glares and glowers of disapproval
Stay in bed all day
Eat smelly food in bed
Eat the same meal every day
Have champagne for breakfast every weekend
Have a bath at 2pm, at any time, for as long as you like
Play your music loud
Play the same track ad–nauseam – hello Echo Beach
Buy what you want at Tescos
Spend the whole day on the iMac without being disturbed
Write your heart out
Study in peace
Not wash up
Not get dressed all day
Not go out of the house all day
Not have to speak to anyone
Watch every episode of Doc Martin one after the other
Aloneness is not frightening: it is not being lonely. It is a place of peace and selfishness for a while. It allows you some space to breath, to be, to consider the joys and wonder of companionship. Aloneness gives you space to miss the things that matter in your life and appreciate them when you are rejoined to your normal life.
Enjoy your inner Polar Bear. (Images courtesy Google Images)