I remember when to spend the whole of the night with another person was one of those things you dreamed of: to spend the evening in passionate embraces, the night snuggled together and the morning waking to breakfast, or coffee or another round of what you got you into bed in the first place.
Beds are wonderful things, places of rest, relaxation, passion and indulgence but they need to be an area of good manners and thoughtfulness too.
Are you being considerate towards the body you share with? Whether you’ve just started sleeping together regularly or have been at it for years, here are some things to consider to help your bed-sharing along
The other person may not feel as you do about bed cleanliness and hygiene so you need to find a balance that works. Sheets and bedding does need to be changed regularly – nasty smells and stains do not for a happy bedtime make
The patterns and type of bedding may need to be negotiated too – all white, really? Pink or flowers everywhere – have a think about whose bed it really is…
Sharing the pillows, the doona the space needs to happen, one of you can’t hog all of everything – double, queen and king beds are made to share so make sure you only take up what’s rightfully yours
Leave the bed neat and tidy when you’re up for the day. A good airing is needed so pull back the doona, the sheets, the blanket, but leave it neat as if nice thoughtful people live here. (This can be one of those tipping point areas if one of you is a neat freak and the other isn’t and the neat freak is the first out of bed.)
Eating in bed can be a serious point of dispute – no-one likes crumbs under their bum – so think first before you stuff yourself with crumbly, smelly things in bed
Pets in bed can be another area of serious dispute – we used to sleep with the cats, at their different points on the bed, and sometimes the dog has snuck in but this is a seriously negotiated area – all that fur? (Babies in bed have similar issues but less fur)
Snoring is one of those sad inevitabilities of life, as we age and thicken. Even I have had to face this alarming fact. Dealing with a snoring partner is fraught – they will not take kindly to being smacked about in the night because you can’t sleep but you won’t get any sleep unless they shut up! A very tricky one. Go to bed first, encourage sleeping on your side, preferably away from the centre of the bed. Sleeping on your back after drinking or too much food is a primary cause. Most importantly be aware of yourself as a snorer and try to avoid the midnight punch-up because no-one’s getting any sleep.
Sleeping together is wonderful, it’s love, it’s companionship, it’s one of those warm and reassuring things in the day and it is the heart of our passionate life. Be a thoughtful bed-mate and you’ll reap the rewards. (images courtesy Google Images and Private Collection)